Archive for June, 2011

Fight for me, Anuraga

A whole year has passed since we last saw each other. You promised to remain in touch, but you didn’t. Like a lover having nestled at my breast for some few days, whispering sweet nothings into my ears, you used my emotions to bathe your hungry desire.

You promised that you would fight to keep me too, although you were attached to someone else. You said, you would negotiate a balance by which you were able to hold us both in respect. It was not your fault that you had met her before me, but it certainly is a fault that having been with me, you can return to her as if there was never a thing between us.

You say I am not the type who can be committed to one; I say, yes, I can’t. My philosophy has been that of free flow, never to be tied up to anyone, nor allow myself to force tie upon anyone to me. Yet, in these moments I wonder at your tales of liberation from all ties; I wonder what truth there is in the words that you spilled in my ears – you belonged to the world and the world belonged to you, you shared it with your lover who too was composed of the same ether and for both of you, stings were but chains. I wonder then, how you failed to even inform your love about both of us.

You promised you would share what conspired between the two of us; you would work towards a means by which you could be a common love for both of us. It seems that you have now hidden behind your own words, unable to meet the demand you laid on your self.

I met your best friend the other day. He said you had even lost sense of your own self. You confessed that there was a huge amount of pain in your heart which you could find a solution to. You had lost yourself in work in such a way, that you could remember nothing of the past. You said that your poor heart could not bare the torture of insecurity lashing out at you, from your lover and hence you have preferred to put a lock on your tongue.

Such deceitful acts will only make you remember me more. The more you try to cover it with the sand of time, the more it will show up, night and day, and one day, in your trial to forget your past, you may forget who you are.

Fight Anuraga, fight! Fight for me, to be at your side. Remember yourself through me again, remember, the days we spent together, the nights we breathed as one. Remember, all those moments which made us what we are today; above all remember this Anuraga, that if you loved me as much as you said you did, you would fight for my place with you.

Lay down the mantle you have worn so far; dismantle the ideologies you held till now, come clean about the fact that all the books you studied and the talks you gave to re-engineer yourself breaking societal norms and constructs around you, that you are free of the shackles of all that you believed was true, for you were not able to walk your talk when it came to putting it in practice. It was easier for you to die to yourself and to me and perhaps her too, for the easiest roads are not less travelled. In fact the road map is already there. Or I will turn to say that, you used me, my emotions wrapping yourself around me with words and ideologies you could scarcely call your own.

Fight for me Anuraga, tear your heart, bleed, and tell the world that in your veins flow the poison you can safely call, me.


Don’t you remember you told me, you love me baby


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