Posts Tagged ‘women’

Sita slept fitfully in the train. It was not the noise around her which disturbed her. It was the cleaning woman in her dream who was the source of all her vexations. The cleaning woman, carrying two children on either side of her waist, had swept the compartment, especially, the passage within her own cubicle off  its dirt and taken everything and placed it in the corner of the compartment, just near the door. As she was not sweeping it out of the door, in fact a small heap collected at the door. It is this heap which disturbed Sita. Sita, was persistent – she kept directing the woman to push the garbage collected out of the door but by now, the cleaning woman had collected quite a heap and was trying to brush it away, but the heap had solidified, due to being left there for a long time. Thus, the effort was taking longer to achieve the results. Sita, watched with disgust and annoyance, while the cleaning woman continued her effort. The heap was big, she agreed,  as sleep left her eyes and she woke up to the realization that she was fairly tired, although she had had a good night’s sleep. Or so it seemed.Freudian interpretation:

Both the women seen in this dream are Sita in real life – the Sita who is the director and the Sita who is the cleaner. The train as we all know by now, symbolizes life. So it is apparent from the dream that Sita has been cleaning her own compartment(i.e her own past, in her life) and putting things away in the back burner. Not really throwing them away from her compartment. By now the things put there have heaped up and she is trying to push this out of her mind, but they have solidified layer upon layer. It has now become hard to throw them out immediately. She is trying, but she is aware of the effort it will take. She feels frustrated. But must carry on. Therefore, her conscious mind is directing her subconscious mind to sweep the dirt away instead of collecting it and putting it in one corner. Alas, dirt left for so long, is hard to get rid of. The broom used is the vehicle she is using to rid her mind of the dirt/past.

There is yet another meaning to the two children on her waist. The first being, the children are the baggage of her own life, they also signify, life after this one – rebirth. Moreover, they are her need to procreate. This means that to achieve this end by sexual union. However, the deeper meaning is that she is still fertile.

Fertile for what? Does her fertility have to give rise to a human child only or is the child symbolic of a new beginning?

Perhaps both.  

While a child is a synonymous to a product of sexual union, it can mean that she is carrying the birth of a new life. However, she must first throw the past away. Hence it becomes significant to note that the children here have multiple meanings – of birth of a child because of sexual union, of rebirth as a continuation of this life. Also of creativity or new beginnings.

 The spiritual Interpretation:

This is the deeper side of the dream. It is obvious that if there is a heap of dirt collected over time, the garbage is from collections in this lifetime and perhaps from the others if there have been any. There has been a constant effort to so called come clean of the past, yet, the mission has not been successful as such, because of the fact that, while trying to come clean of the past, Sita has been cleaning the past from her immediate view but has not really been throwing it out of her mind. Not really coming clean of the past. Thus, now her effort to clean and come off the past, is taking a long time and it has become an arduous job.

Why? The reason lies in the two children saddled on her waist. These two are not children per se; these are her attachment to the material world. Her ishanas which are holding on tightly to her and vice versa. So, while, she keeps trying to clean her space completely, the concern for these two is holding her from coming right through. Perhaps that is what her desire is too. Apparently, she wishes to hold on to these two children, which metaphorically represent her ishanas.

The children have another meaning. They are her desire for coming back to the world. She sees herself as life continuing to another in living terms.

The road to Self realization is an arduous one, often strewn with many burdens. While it necessitates coming out of the past by deliberate sadhana, meditation or whatever is ones’ practice, one has to be continuously vigilant of the fact that, what we assume we are allowing ourselves to let go, is not being stored in our backburner. In that case, they will always stand as barricades on our way, both spiritually and psychologically.

In my understanding, it is a dual job. On the one hand, there is a cleaning at the psychological level, by which I mean, letting go and getting on. On the other hand, it requires filling up the empty spaces thus created by practice of sadhana, meditation, whatever ever is one’s mantra. Even if it means turning to a hobby, taking up Art, writing, whatever, that will fill these spaces created, with positive energy. Unfortunately, most of us are afraid to let go completely because, there is nothing to fill that space with. This heap collected, is at least familiar. We live with it instead of getting rid of it and accommodating a new guest in that space. We can always blame it on God and say that it is His Will. When He wishes us to be rid of our past, he will.

No, it is not His job! Not entirely.

The story goes that a villager had gone to the next village with a heap load in his cart to sell. He had to pass through a jungle to do so. He sold his goods and got a bit late. As if that was not enough, it had started to rain as well and thus, our poor man came to the centre of the jungle and his cart got caught in the muck. He felt desperate. At that moment a thought crossed his mind – he must pray to God to come to his aid. This he did immediately. And lo and behold! There! He could see a lantern approaching him. As it came closer he was disappointed to find that there was an old man carrying the lamp. He was angry. He raised his hands to the heavens and cried – What is this Lord? Why did you send someone so old? He can’t be of any help to me…” Right at that moment the old man arrived close to his cart

“Seems like you are stuck son? Why don’t you pray to the Lord for help?”

“That is exactly what I just did,” the villager snapped “and look whom he has sent?”

“True, I am an old man and I can be of no help to you. But you are young. Why don’t you get off that cart and push it out of the muck yourself?”

Likewise, just depending on providence to provide, believing that God in his time will do it, is not enough. It is not enough to simply pray and leave it to God. Action, in time is must to supplement along with our sadhana, meditation whatever. Then and then only the dual purpose is complete – at once coming clean and moving on in life. What we decide to leave behind, we have to leave behind. Not keep revisiting them and carrying the two kids of the cleaning woman, saddled on our waist.

Success lies in burning the bridges behind you, neither making it possible to travel back to the past, nor allowing the past to follow you.

For, only a clean break is the best break.


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